I’m starting to feel conflicted again.
I would’ve thought by now I’d know what I want,
or at least who I want to be.
Place my life into different boxes controlled by other people.
In getting old we make it up as we go.
Ignoring ourselves;
Supporting the whole.
And after all these years I’m beginning to think that this is
as easy as it will ever be.
Nauseating, letting other people control my life.
My fault, fear keeps the power with them.
In getting old we make it up as we go.
Ignoring ourselves;
Supporting the whole.
We live our lives with our part time friends
and our part time wives wandering around
in the tracks they built for us.
It’s not good enough.
With our part time jobs and our part time shrines
wandering around the grand design for mice.
Do we ever really complete anything for ourselves?
I’m so tired.
I admired myself now,
when I was younger.
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