We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

All Of This Was Meant To Be

by Quiet Car

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

     

1.
Kilo Romeo 03:53
Sticking to every place I know; Cause I won’t see you there. (You’re leaving, misleading) The warm air is on its way; I’ll take my share, pretend to care. (Find your own home, I’ll watch things here) If there was ever a place and time, this would be it. No letters, no postcards; I’m not crawling back this time. And I guess I have nothing to offer you, Or maybe you’ve just convinced me of that. I thought I knew you. Forget everything I’ve known, There’s no comfort anywhere. (Why can’t you leave me alone?) I’m confused and you don't seem to care, But I’ll still meet you anywhere. (Until I collapse at your front door) And I guess I have nothing to offer you, Or maybe you’ve just convinced me of that. And we’re planting seeds just to watch them die. How is this better than being alone? And then that last night we survived, No trust in front of us. Is this our last time? Step by step we walked out of that bar, I offered my bed, and you said it’s over. Don’t kid yourself, don’t think I don’t know that it’s over... I know it’s over. Why would you waste your time when you knew I wasn’t happy? Why did I waste my time when you knew I'd never be?
2.
Don't ask. Just pack your bags and maybe I will meet you along the way. When all the fun of the night dies, Weary eyes open to see mistakes I brought home with me; Don’t take it personally. It’s not that I lied, it’s that I bent the truth to fit your mood, To make it fit mine. Oh shit… I fucking forgot your name. I’m good for tonight but not much else; You deserve an explanation. Buried between the sheets trying to find some fucking self-esteem. And when I woke up I was happy. And when I woke up I was happy. Please fix this crooked spine, please fix these crooked thoughts, I know it’s a lot to ask, but you had me at goodbye. And there’s so much that I'm not telling you, Truth is I’m scared, truth is I’m weaker than you think. I’m weaker than you think, I’m weaker than you think, And I can’t afford this. I hope that you can see I’m going off the brink, Always making promises I can’t keep. I’m good for tonight but not much else; You deserve an explanation. Buried between the sheets trying to find some fucking self-esteem. And when I woke up I was happy. And when i woke up I was happy. Don’t let it show don't let it show, don't let it show, I hope you know the mess we’re getting into. Why can’t we be completely honest, and quit while we’re ahead?
3.
It’s a matter of distance, from traffic lights and crooked smiles. No more skylines, or jaded memories. I’m trying to care about what other people care about. Everyone’s growing up, but I feel completely stuck. I don’t care what Bobby says, Nothing is gonna change. And I get lost on the darkest of roads. It’s going to calm me down, or at least I hope it will. Cut ties I’m moving away, To find my silence. Cut ties I’m leaving today, For however long it takes.
4.
Birdhouse 04:11
I’ve become aware to how I can’t look you in the eye anymore, when shame is an epitaph written on every cell in my body, you know. I’m embarrassed to tell you what I’m thinking half the time, knowing that your disappointment is measured like charts and graphs, so I don't bother anymore. I keep it to myself while building up this home, until it falls apart again, and I can watch from a safe distance. And I’ll throw myself down the stairs, Just to see if blood is as real as they say. And I’ll eat myself bite my bite, Just to have a decent meal for once, When this is everyday. Watch it burn, watch it burn, watch it burn. So I came here to watch you fall down. Watch it burn, watch it burn, watch it burn. I just came to pick myself up now. Wrapped inside like a veil or blanket, Things are only as bad as i can imagine. When my courage dies I’ll follow you, December. The ground is blessed by winter, and so am i shakes and all. I can’t stay strong. Don't let me go... Please let me go. And I’ll learn to love myself in the fire. (When embers start to become cascades) And I can be a martyr. (If you’ll just be my saint) When this is everyday. When you carry me back home, Don’t tell me you love me. I have no excuse... just... Same regrets, same mistakes, Same thoughts flow through my head. How do you live, when you’re your own punishment?
5.
I’m starting to feel conflicted again. I would’ve thought by now I’d know what I want, or at least who I want to be. Place my life into different boxes controlled by other people. In getting old we make it up as we go. Ignoring ourselves; Supporting the whole. And after all these years I’m beginning to think that this is as easy as it will ever be. Nauseating, letting other people control my life. My fault, fear keeps the power with them. In getting old we make it up as we go. Ignoring ourselves; Supporting the whole. We live our lives with our part time friends and our part time wives wandering around in the tracks they built for us. It’s not good enough. With our part time jobs and our part time shrines wandering around the grand design for mice. Do we ever really complete anything for ourselves? I’m so tired. I admired myself now, when I was younger. It’s all downhill from now.
6.
Dear Michael 04:22
And I guess this an apology, And I guess this is me trying to make amends, For all of the horrible shit that I’ve said, Three sheets of excuses in the wind. You look so happy now, I don’t know what I was thinking when I opened my mouth, And tore apart your life. Jealousy’s an ugly vice. I guess I was scared that I’d go it alone, I guess I was afraid of you building a home. And I was lost, I thought you'd be too. And it’s the things we think we care about, It’s the things that hold us back. And It’s the things we think we care about, That always hold us back. She looks so lovely with her hair down like that, Every strand a thought that I’d take back. Now that I see what she means to you, Everything that you love. I couldn’t ask for a better sister to be, I’m proud you’re taking the leap, A proud brother in my heart. And It’s the things we think we care about, It’s the things that hold us back. And it’s the things we think we care about That always hold us back. You saved my life once. I feel so ashamed... I’m sorry. So fucking sorry.
7.
It starts with a loss of faith, in god and love, And it bleeds you like an open wound. Then it starts to spiral, Until you’ve had enough. When do I find those endless fields? But for now it’s: Lights out.Pressure.Absence.Everything. Never get to see the light. It ends where it all started, A dirty reflection, a fork in the road. Now we’re one in the same, Cold heart. Empty. (Fuck it) I will try to find that peace, but it’s still just: Lights out.Pressure.Absence.Everything. Sometimes it’s just easier to see everything through a pinhole perspective, a rotting camera lens. Sometimes it’s just easier to choose sides like an argument through paper thin walls. I’m not going to tell you it gets better because I’m not sure that it does. There will always be something because one day for everyone their world collapses, just falls apart. When life becomes another word for coping, filling that empty space from the bottom of a bottle or the eyes of another lost in your own right (still with us). When everything you do seems to fail, keep searching for that one thing and never let it go. Because you don't want that way. And you don't let them win But the thing you have to know is... They are you. Divide all the time. Divide. It’s only black and white you see. Divide all the time. Divide. It’s only black and white you see. Its grayscale silence, Grayscale silence. Bury me where nothing will grow. Its grayscale silence, Grayscale silence. Bury me where nothing will grow.
8.
8 Years 04:57
Finding out it has nothing to do with where I live, or who I’ve loved, or who I’ve lost. Cause I’m never alone with this lack of control. And I’m starting to think that all of this was meant to be. Same three words. I’m not sorry. Knowing, this is the way it is. There’s always been an antidote. Shake me out of this sleep, so I can see that. Maybe I’m not ready to change, To see things brighter than they are. Truth is my greatest fear is that I will be ok. Put these ghosts to rest. But I feel I’ve wasted my best years, Hoping for my best years. And I'm starting to think that all of this was meant to be. Same three words. I’m so sorry. Knowing, this is the way it has to be. Honesty can’t wait. Where's my progress? Drowning in the past and future tense. Maybe someday I will be happy... but probably not. (Maybe someday) I don’t know what to do anymore. So frustrated, so exhausted. I’ll try, but I don’t know if I have it in me anymore.

about

Engineered and Mixed by Matt Frank
Mastered by Carl Saff at Saff Mastering
Artwork courtesy of Marco Nelor

credits

released September 9, 2014

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Quiet Car Chicago, Illinois

contact / help

Contact Quiet Car

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account

If you like Quiet Car, you may also like: